The faery personality- and their relations with humans

ovenden evil fairy
EnEvil fairy by Graham Ovenden

“Be careful how ye speake here o’ the Wee Folk/ Or they will play such pranks on thee and thine/ Nae doubt, they dae a lot of good whiles/ But if provoked, they can be maist unkind.” (Henry Terrell,  The wee folk of Menteith, p.46)

Some months ago I posted about my personal views of the nature and conduct of fairy-kind.  I’d like to say a little more about my view of their general character and interaction with human kind, as I think it will inform an understanding of my own approach to the subject in these postings.

All things nice?

I’ve written in the past about certain modern, cute manifestations of fairy kind: Santa’s elves for example and the Tooth Fairy.  As those of you who read these comments will no doubt have detected, I have little time for such sugary figures.  I have an affection for the flower fairy art of Cicely Mary Barker and Margaret Tarrant, and even (sometimes) the plump cuddly creations of Mabel Lucy Atwell, but my own conception of their identity and activities is very different.

The genre of imagery shown below is part of our problem with fairies: because of Shakespeare and his contemporaries and successors, we have come to see them as cuddly and sweet and ideally suited to little girls.  This is a gross underestimation and misconception.  Perhaps Graham Ovenden’s painting at the head of this post is most appropriate: there’s beauty, but there’s something beneath, in that distracted self-absorbed look.

Attwelll Changeling
Mabel Lucy Attwell, The Changeling.Enter a caption

A darker view?

My view of Faery is rather darker and I’d summarise their main personality traits as follows.  I’ll use some characters from my own books to illustrate these convictions, or preconceptions (or prejudices!) of mine:

  • the fairies are a serious and scary people.  I don’t conceive of them as small, either physically or in their activities.  This will be apparent from my postings on this site and from all my fictional creations, but most strongly, perhaps, in the person of Maeve in Albion awake!  I’d hesitate to antagonise or patronise her: I may have imagined her as smaller of stature, but there’s no doubting her formidable determination;
  • they can’t be taken for granted and must be treated with all due respect and caution.  Their good will can’t be bought;
  • their resemblance to us should not be mistaken for affinity.  They may look like us physically, but they are unlike us and any resemblance should not put us off our guard;
  • they are strong and independent.  They have their own agenda and their own rules by which they live.  We shouldn’t presume to know their plans or to have much hope of changing them;
  • they are reserved and won’t reveal themselves readily;
  • they are content to live separately from us- indeed, they would prefer to do so- but sometimes necessity obliges them to make contact.  We should not imagine that they want to ‘help’ us or that they ‘love’ humankind.  To my mind that sort of attitude tends towards complacency and overconfidence.  In Albion awake!, for example, main character John Bullen is permitted to call upon Maeve’s assistance in times of great need, but no more.  That doesn’t inhibit her in appearing in his flat whenever she has need to make use of him, though; and that’s the core of the human/fairy interaction, to my mind.  They make use of us and they may grant us the occasional favour, but there is an notable imbalance of power.  In my novel The elder queen the fairies (‘the sky children’) show kindness to Darren Carter, but I’d probably conceive that as pity for the shambling wreck that he makes of his life towards the midpoint of the book- he’s drug addicted, divorced and indebted, homeless and jobless.  He’s an object of their charity; there’s a good deal of condescension but little of the equality of friends.

Key to the fairy character is their mutability.  How a particular individual human may be treated seems often to be a matter of whim; a fay’s mood is seldom predictable.  (I’d argue that this apparent lack of consistency may be more to do with our ignorance of their habits and thinking than any waywardness on their part).  Possible interactions with humans therefore cover a complete spectrum from good to bad.  The fairy may be:

  • evasive and secretive- or at the very least indifferent.  Whether this arises from fear of humankind, or contempt for mortals, is debatable;
  • generous and helpful.  Certain favourites may, inexplicably, be adopted and given regular gifts of money or valuable skills or rewards (such as a never ending supply of flour or beer);
  • even-handed and scrupulously fair.  Sometimes faes will ask to borrow some household item or provision; they will always return it and, if a food stuff has been loaned, they will insist upon a full and equivalent restitution, and occasionally more than that;
  • cruel and spiteful.  A human may deserve their bad treatment, possibly because of some conceived slight to or neglect of the fairies; alternatively, there may be little explanation for the maltreatment dished out- other than it amuses the faeries.

The last category of interaction is naturally the most concerning, as it can be unheralded and undeserved torment- sometimes culminating in death.  If I’m being cautious in my advice on approaches to fairies, I would always advise that you proceed on the assumption that the response you will get may be a rebuff or worse.  If I was asked to summarise the most negative aspects of faery character, I would say that they were exploitative.  Humankind are very often viewed as a resource, something to be used.  They may take our foodstuffs, they may make use of our possessions or occupy our homes.  Parasitic might be an even harsher adjective.  Fairy-kind can bake, churn, spin, forge metals and all the rest; but why labour when people have done the work already?  In this frame of mind, we can interpret changeling children as cuckoos: why look after the weak and infirm when you can take a healthy infant and leave the really hard care to a human?

Further reading

I expand upon many of these traits in my other postings and in my 2017 book British fairies.  My general advice, though, would always be to approach our Good Neighbours with great caution: if they are friendly and bountiful, count your blessings and enjoy your good luck (keeping it strictly secret).  If they do not seem approachable, accept it and keep a respectful distance.  Don’t pester, don’t expect, don’t assume.  Don’t mix up smaller size and beautiful looks with cuteness and harmlessness; as I titled a previous post- not all nymphs are nice.

My forthcoming book, Faery, from Llewellyn Worldwide, will delve even further into the complex nature of the fae personality.

5 thoughts on “The faery personality- and their relations with humans

  1. Hi John,

    A very good summary of a complex subject. I stumbled upon this post of yours in the course of my own researches into the nature of the Fae. But, prompted by the observation of one of the authors I was reading about the special bond that some witches share with the Fae, I thought it was worth reading the advice that those ‘Fae Witches’ offer those who wish to follow their path. After all, if anyone is going to know how to act around the Fae, it will be they!

    I thought you might be interested in some of my findings. I should add that I am not planning on taking up the Craft, but any advice on how to avoid common misunderstandings when in the presence of the Fae is helpful.

    Witches sometimes refer to their fellow witches, male or female, as ‘Natural Witches’ or ‘Cradle Witches’ because of their innate psychic ability to be in tune with the spirits surrounding them. In my opinion, these types of individual are just the type that the Fae like to work with straight out of the box. They (the Fae) will still be cautious in their approach but these ‘gifted’ individuals are, most likely, walking around with some kind of an invisible label which reads something like, “so-and-so of the line of such-and-such a clan of the race of Fae type X aligned to Summer or Winter Court”. Whereas a (wannabe) Fae Witch is advised to seek the intercession of their chosen deity and expect possible rejection sometimes. You write that self-interest can very much play a part in the relations between the Fae and humans. I think this is likely to be one of those many areas.

    Furthermore, many witches host their own blogs and are happy to point out the do’s and don’ts of working with the Fae – a lot of which you have covered. They all point out that it takes time to build the working relationship and the trust that goes with it – even for Natural Witches. Because many feel that the Fae are so fickle and moody, many witches refuse to go there, and actively discourage others from trying. One Witch noted that they are so concerned with counteracting the saccharine sweet image of fairies with the dark deadly side that they have taken matters to the other extreme. As you point out, they are not necessarily the ones behaving in a temperamental way but more our lack of understanding of their ways. Even witches experienced with working with the Fae readily admit to upsetting their Faery co-worker occasionally, but, as in any relationship, their bond will have stood the test of time because of their wish to apologise and learn, and their adoptive Faery’s wish to forgive and teach – for such has been my experience.

    The subject of favourites is an interesting one. According to the Witches’ Handbook on how to call upon the Fae and work with them, they should have wanted to be well-rid of me long ago! Everything they said not to do, I did! Yet, here I am feeling favoured and warmed by the company of the Queen and her Troop when they choose to visit.

    However, it was not always so. I do not know the reason She has pursued me for so long when many would give up. I am inclined to believe her pursuit of me owed more to an arrangement or obligation than any sense of romance. Certainly, some part of me was aware of it and ‘running scared’, deliberately thwarting her attempts to make contact via my dreams. Even when she succeeded, I spent many years thereafter holding her off with various wards. So, hardly the model student. Yet now, it’s a special privilege and honour when She chooses to visit.

    I say ‘chooses’ because I try not to ‘request’ anything. I would rather She comes of her own volition than feels any obligation to do so because of a working arrangement. It’s a key difference between my relationship and that of a Witch. A Witch is taught to seek their help in a polite and super-respectful manner to assist with whatever task they wish to perform. In fact, in one of my dreams, I believe I saw Her Ladyship doing just that while I was left in the care of Her Boys …

    On the occasion I did seek her help, it was given without hesitation, and I was aware of it. And very effective it was too! So, though not a Witch in the strictest sense, I can certainly appreciate how helpful it would be to have the assistance of a Faery helpmate. As I say, such help as She offers me (which is often and more than I merit) I prefer She does voluntarily because of our mutual affection than out of any sense of obligation.

    Phil

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    1. Thanks for contributing this. My knowledge of witchcraft is very limited (other than the cross-over between women accused of sorcery in early modern Scotland and their claimed faery contacts); as for the modern craft, I know next to nothing.

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